"Ladies and Gentleman, this is your captain.

Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York.  The weather ahead is good, so we should have and uneventful flight.

So sit back, relax, and.

OH...MY GOD!"

Some moments later, the captain came back on the intercom.

"Ladies and Gentleman, I'm sorry if I scared you.  While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap.  You should see the front of my pants!"

From the back of the plane, an Irish passenger yelled "For the luvva Jaysus, you should see the back of mine!"