I too had issues with email after updating to 5.3, I found the issue to be a 3rd party plugin.
To bee 100% sure about your cron you should ask your hosting company, only they can give you the correct cron path.
As with all new sites it takes time to build a userbase, get known on the web etc, many people will never come back after joining, this is no reflection on the software but what they are looking for in a site, many want an active site with lots of people on at a time, these people will not return if your site is new, others have more staying power, they are willing to take the time to message people, wait for replies and get active in your community.
I think your rant is not justified, nothings a hit the moment it goes online, it take time and patience to get a site going as well as commitment.
If the software wasn't working correctly there are many people here willing to help you get things going right, even your hosting support would help you.
There's 100's if not more oxwall powered sites running just fine, maybe the problem isn't the script but the person trying to use it.