What site mail are you referring to?

all notifications

friend request, new ail, photo comments etc

What is cron job set to? 

one minute

i have tested over and over with 20 profiles all set to immediately 
then every hour comment on a pick or send Friend request to one of them 
for a few days 

delivery times are not the same every day the time frames are 

1 am to 3 am
5 pm to 9 pm

i tested it because i have had lots of users complain about it take to long 

in system plugin.base/classes/mail.php 
theres reference to the kinds of mail

  const PRIORITY_HIDE = 1;

    const PRIORITY_NORMAL = 3;

    const PRIORITY_LOW = 5;

so i think i need to find where to change notification mail   from 3 to a 1

lol it says hide not high hahahaha

Probably big queue of mails on the server. Do you have a shared account?  

Because I tested on my test website and got the mail within 5 minutes 

no a vps 6 cpu 8gb ram mag wheels  and big radio lol

and no cue i have check mail in mysql and is empty and then fills up with lots of mails  and after some time is empty again it does this twice a day every 12 hours
i have set the 20 profiles to be captured in one mail account
you can see the times

 

seems like your cron tab itself is not working you will need to check it status via ssh

pgrep crond

or 

service crond status

the first one give this
1222

19704

19705

the second give this

cronf <pid1222 is working

well, this is not what we are looking for, there should something like actions which happen every second or minute, I mean they should be displayed every second or minute, like the command tell you what's going on right now. 

in /var/log/cron  
all seams fine and running every minute
also setting the cron email in cronjobs cpanel  send mail every minute on cron run  

the cron is run every minute everything verifies it 

Tammy which domain are we talking about? Nauhgty Retreat?

yes roos
and i sent u a mail here on help stop spam bots stacking here and users sites i have the 2 scripts up and running  
my server load drop is amassing 
i have the server monitored by new relic  
my php load is 1/4 of what it was 
and since no spammers joined up i was getting over 30 per day 

I see you have Immediately set by default in the e-mail notifications settings. Have you made any other changes regarding code?