one problem i can see that use heaps of time and memory is even with cloudflare plugin completely uninstalled my site is still trying to connect to 104.28.8.19:80
which is cloudflare 

every plugin deactivated and i still get the cron run errors
and still get 5 errors on the site try connecting to cloudflare every hour
next il try download fresh script and overwrite whole site 

i can not find anything in db on cloudflare

Disable again all 3rd party plugins, purge cloudflare cache, remove any 3rd party js code you use, switch to the default theme, then PM me your admin access details and Cpanel access details. 

Also where do you see that memory is used by cloudlflare plugin? 

Ross looked at this problem and found there was lots of processes from floudflare cron runs 
that were stuck in a kind of loop and smashing my db and consuming so much ram and memory trying to do tasks they just could not do as the plugin was removed 
killing all the process fixed every thing 

Thanks Ross