I was exposed to porn as a child and began masturbating with pillows as a result. I was able to achieve climax that way. When it came to actually touching people, guys, it did not feel good. I no longer have the ability to be aroused and I grew out of masturbation. I am still a virgin at 44.

It is very difficult to say whether you are asexual or not. Apparently, you are still a little girl and have never thought about it. But since you masturbate and imagine beautiful guys, you may be just afraid of sex. This is also a phobia, but it does not apply to asexuality. Asexuality is when you don't have a sexual attraction to people. Still, since you experience such feelings when masturbating, I think everything is fine with you, you're just not ready for sex yet, and you need to wait. I also used to watch only porn, and at the same time, I watched it only on this site -- https://www.vrpornhot.com/, because there is a lot of VR porn here. I imagined some kind of having sex with a girl and was preparing for the future.